What feelings haunt me? What demons live under the bed, closet, or in the confines of boots beyond sight? What emotions do I fear creeping up over the baseboards?

Worry I suppose, the thief of exploration and confidence. Worry is the creditor’s favorite restraint. Worry keeps my feet on the ground when I need to take a leap of faith. I would say that worry worries me but I don’t think about it enough to let it bother me. I don’t waste time in thoughts of my capacity for anger or scorn. I have made assertive practice and cultivation of compassion a priority. I have explored the beast and played it out and only reserve it for writing and occasional impulses.

I have outgrown the fear of the darkness, I am darkest thing in the woods, under the bed, or sitting across from you at the dinner table. Life is best spent from a humble understanding of your own dark nature.

Roles confuse me, as I can dream up many faces, masks and molds to fit and I struggle with distance between my true self and others. In order to best serve my friends, new and old, some distance is required. I know I am weak to get over-involved or serve in the wrong capacity. I can do more as friend than giving in to desire…usually.

I fear that all I am and all I wish to be won’t amount to much to whom I value the most- I cannot answer beyond that- nor will I give away that identity.