If you remember nothing else or try nothing else, do yourself a favor and remember this:

1. Golden Rule for Personal Growth – Seek  to take in and express that which truly serves you and leave and avoid that which does not.

• Like a breath, take in that which serves, expel that which does not.

Negative thoughts and experiences are unavoidable, but through conscious effort you can decrease their effect and the amount of time it takes to push them out of your life.

• Consume that which serves you and pass by that which does not.

We have control over many aspects of our environment, what we eat, what we see, what we hear, etc. Of  the elements in your control, which are really doing you good long term? Which are helping you pursue your aspirations? Which feel good in the moment but are getting in the way? Call attention  to these elements.

• Do that which truly serves you and prevent yourself from doing that which does not.

Our actions our under our control. Our bodies develop physical habits and behaviors that correspond to our thoughts. Check your posture right now. Slouching? Call attention to it. Bad habits like excessive drinking smoking, over eating, etc. are connected to our thoughts- they are after all behaviors. Healthy physical actions can inspire healthy mental actions and vice versa. Whether you’re looking for a change or stress reduction, or a big slice of Zen, don’t ignore the physical body. Use it to be constructive and allow your physical efforts and aspirations to connect, inspire and synergize with your mental aspirations.

This is my little mantra. It requires discipline and constant effort but it’s worth it and has served me well. Adopt and adapt it to your life and may it serve you well.

2. Actively filter content. I seek  to consume that which truly serves me and avoid the trash that does not. This is a golden rule for me. When it comes to content, I only want to focus on, consume and interact with content that:

• helps me pursue my goals (in business and in life)
• inspires me (When I walk out of the movie theater,  away from the screen, article or book, I want to feel like doing something, building something, etc.)
• makes me feel truly happy in a more lasting way (think happy thoughts and memories worth savoring)
• challenges me (sometimes enrages, stresses me, but only in amounts I can handle)
• helps me relax

If you want to clean up your life and develop healthy thought patterns, start by cleaning up your psychological surroundings, that is, the environments that contribute to your mental state.  A good place to start is the big unchecked, elephant in the room  guilty pleasure: content. In the information age, there is no shortage of content to consume, and for better or for worse, most of it is trash. Following the golden rule makes it incredibly easy to cut down on consuming garbage TV, movies video games, gossip mags (and masculine equivalents) business magazines, etc. In the end, a majority of the content floating around out there does not help cultivate a happier, healthier mindset or inspire you. The little good it offers is disproportionate to the psychological detriment it causes.

Filtering out the noise and trash, frees up more time to allow me to do other things. Ask yourself this, on your tombstone which would you prefer to be written:

“Here lies Joe, he liked to watch other people do stuff.” OR “Here lies Joe. He did stuff and always had time for us.”

The choice is obvious. Simply by choosing to eliminate crap frees your mind and your time.

Examples of bad consumption habits:

• Over-Consuming TV/Video Games and The Web- You know it. I know it and for most of us, it’s difficult to stop. Start by calling attention to
• Watching TV/Video Games to fill time between work and sleep = the likely consumption 90% trash.
• Trash Content
• Gossip magazines, reality TV shows about suburban queens and celebrities, make you feel guilty, ugly, etc. don’t really add value to your life. Reality check: What most often derails you from your diets or other personal goals? Someone forcing you to eat cake for 3 meals a day, or, you hijacking your thoughts to create escape and avoidance route? Guilt, fear, anxiety and self-worth are all at play there, and

Consuming trash content is a major threat to health and wellness. It feeds negative thinking, devalued self worth, depression, and victimization that all get in the way of you going down a better path. What do I mean by trash? Crap content, or trash, is anything that has an overall more negative effect on your life and more specifically your thoughts. Content that discourages positive self image, deters you from a path of self-improvement and wellness. Trash content is all the noise- the glitz, glamor and graphics, all action, brutality and explosions and no substance. Bad writing is often at the root of it, encouraged by the overwhelming apathy when it comes to judging content to consume, (but that’s for a different post).

You will never be in short supply of funny videos to watch on the web, but you will always be in short supply of time to spend with friends and loved ones.

3. Have the Courage to Say No. Having self- respect sometimes requires you to take a stand and say  No. No thanks. None for me. I Won’t do that. Most people are lost like rats in a maze and will try to keep you lost in their and your habits and patterns. By most people, I also mean friends and loved ones that you and I care about. Help yourself and them by leading by example and saying no when offered things that do not serve you.

I say NO to slasher flicks. Friends still drag me to these things. After each and every single film without fail, both my friends and I come out regretting it. Have you ever seen anyone come out of a theater after seeing a horror film and jump up in the air with raised hands saying “I’m so glad I watched SAW 10. My Life Is Awesome.” ? NOPE. Yet, moments like these still happen every now and again.

We all have friends who push things on us both good and bad. It’s funny that often times, we have no problem pushing away or turning down things that are good for us, or that we ought to do, but we struggle to say no to the bad things.

Tip: How to Deal with Social Pressures and Pushy Friends

Explain what you value and how that value or principle contributes to your decision. So your new No message might be something like this:

NO Thanks- I won’t have a third slice of cake. I care about my figure and health and I’m working hard to make it better. A third piece of cake would  work against my effort and really wouldn’t serve me.

Be resolute. Repeat your reasoning in your mind. It’s just as important that you hear it as well.

4. Read. I know. Books right? The boring motionless medium that relays information-they still make em, and they’re incredibly useful. Change requires discipline; a focused and attentive mind. Books offer you that opportunity. They provide an intimate environment for you and the subject matter of your choice with a minimal amount of distractions. There’s no sidebar, there are no ads, and unless you read them on an e-reader, there’s no real option to change the channel and get distracted. Try reading a few-start to finish.

Don’t grab just any book. Do your homework- find something that will serve you long term. After all, you’re taking time to read this thing right? It might as well be something that helps you in life.

I’ll be the first to admit, when I was younger, I hated reading. I come from the video and video game generation and reading seemed like a very limited or low bandwidth information transfer protocol to me. However, I pushed my way through some self-help/personal development books, and found out just how fruitful the experience can be. Books changed my attitude, transformed my mind, and helped me change my behavior and thus have a major effect on my life. Well worth it.

5. Study/Cultivate. Don’t just read a book. Get the most out of it. Engage your imagination and get your whole brain involved. Study it. Apply its practices. Experiment. Start a discussion. Ask questions. Explore. Have fun with it. Most people read books just to say that they have read them, yet they don’t retain much of their information or wisdom. This is especially true of personal development books.

I read it and it didn’t work.

I hate hearing this statement. A book is not like a remote control for your television. Of course it didn’t work you only looked at it. You only read it. The book doesn’t work- you do the work.

The book doesn’t work.

This is very true especially when all you did was read it. If you applied nothing, you gained nothing. If you put nothing into practice, if you did not think critically and did not engage in discussions about the content, then of course it doesn’t work.  Time is precious, and in order to get the biggest bang for your buck, take on an attitude of cultivation and engagement with anything you wish to take seriously.

6. Relax. This can be more difficult than it may seem. Relaxing requires you to let go of the worries and task items in your life. Relaxing requires avoiding the web and email and walking away from the 24 hour negative new cycle. The best ways to relax involve getting out of your environment if you can, disconnecting from the consumption stream, and slowing your world down to the point where you can examine your thoughts as they come. Like a leaking faucet, you should be able to examine your thoughts at depth one drip at a time. You don’t have to do this to relax but if you’re in an environment that enables you to do so, you’re likely in a place where it’s easy to let go of time and enjoy the moment. This is a very different pace than the pace of work and much of our lives.

I struggle with relaxation. I’m a workaholic and a playaholic, and despite the need, I often avoid moments of complete relaxation. To cope and get to the point where I can easily relax, I do things like yoga, or go on long runs and bike rides. Sometimes I bring relaxing music, other times, I just enjoy the natural sounds or silence.  When I finish, my mind is calm and I’m ready to relax. It’s both funny and sad that nobody instructs you to prepare to relax, although you really ought to. Preparing for work is a part of education, yet relaxation is an important part of a healthy long term career and life and its left out of the equation and rarely taught.

7. Play. There is no age limit for play. Playing is important for everyone one. It reduces stress and relieves anxiety. There have been plenty of studies done on the importance of play as an adult as well as a child. Play should be light-hearted and fun. It should not be distressful. Play is different than work; even if you love what you do, you need to find time to play. Do something else. Be silly. Enjoy.

8. Pray/Meditate. Remind yourself of what you are trying to improve, call attention to it, daily, as often as you can. This practice brings determination, focus and attention to your goals and behaviors. The more you do it, the more attentive you’ll be.

9. Write. Of all the habits I have, few serve me as well as the habit of writing. Many people hate it and the reason I most often hear has to do with the technical demands- grammar and composition. However, to them I say, journals have been around forever, and they require no audience nor rules. You can write in a journal from the privacy of your own home, endeavoring in self exploration without fear of any judgement at all. Want a little interaction? Welcome to the age of the blog, where, in most cases, you’re not held to some high standard beyond relaying ideas and having conversations. Everyone should write.

Please Read 16 Quotes That Will Keep You Writing

10. Do. Discover the power and language of conviction. Just as you start by starting, you do by doing. The notion of “try” has become a verbal fabric softener. It works as a band-aid to help us cope or soften the blow of failure or the fear of new endeavors. Try is a word that implies a plan or easy exit strategy for failure. I will try to be honest. I will try to eat only 2 pieces of cake. Attempt is a similar word.  It’s okay to “try” new things, because the word helps us take that first step into the great unknown; but when it comes to goals, you are far more likely to succeed if you can visualize yourself actually accomplishing/achieving/doing the deed. Bottom line: Affirmations work better than “attempts” or “tries”  from the onset. Upon reflection, it’s okay to have tried and failed, or attempted, but visualize victory and doing something and you’re more likely to succeed.

It is an often said but poorly understood notion, that many if not most people in your life will try to discourage, devalue and chip away at your self-worth. Due to toxic patterns, poor upbringings, selfish behavior, and other environmental and psychological factors, the masses try to bring you down. While exploring this subject, I took a deeper look at these things, and decided to share my thoughts as to why people do this, what you can do stop them and yourself from , and how to cultivate and nourish your own sense of self-worth.

What does a healthy sense of self worth get you? A solid sense of self worth can go a long way to helping you earn more money at work, improve personal relationships, and reinforce your ability to  have enough self respect to say “No, I don’t have to”.

A  healthy sense of self worth also helps to:

1. Identify abuse and toxic patterns in your mind and in your relationships with others.
2. Demand more for your time. This may mean more money, more focused attention, more balanced role in a relationship, or just more.
3. Empower you with the ability to respectfully decline to do things that you don’t want to do; the power to confidently opt out.

Why People Bring You Down

One way or another it comes down to the ego. Control, fear, insecurity and  desire for dominance and schadenfreude  drive us to put others down,  be it internally in our heads or externally.  No gender is immune to the practice or effects of this behavior. Men crush other men, rub in victories and defeats, women trash talk, judge themselves and compare to themselves to others.  It seems like it’s the way of the world and it’s encouraged in our culture commercially throughout almost every medium and method of information consumption, making it more difficult than ever to ignore. You would think that because the world is telling everyone that they are worthless, that we could at least be our own advocates, but by in large, our thoughts tend to conform and betray their masters. Don’t give up- there is hope.

What is the cure?

An attitude of constant cultivation and nourishment of our own sense of self-worth and confidence actually allows us to feel more comfortable around others, more likely to encourage, relate, empathize and  focus on the task at hand.

How do I get it?

Become aware of your self-talk and what you’re doing internally to bring yourself down. Identify those moments and switch tracks by reminding yourself that you are in control of your thoughts, feelings and actions, and ultimately, it is your choice. Nurture your new found sense of self by paying homage to the body-mind connection. Think about hitting the gym, yoga, self improvement books,  find your zen, and take fun and play seriously.  Treat the stress reducing, nurturing

Why The Man is Always Trying to Bring You Down

Why they don’t really want you whistling while you work-it’s good for business.

In the business world, the preferred level of self-worth is lower than it ought to be. It is mandated and enforced by egotistical micro-managers and in every exchange. If you can lower your competitor, opponents, customers, and employees’ sense of self worth, you, (the superior one) can assert control and assure compliance.

• Lowering the self worth of others saves money. The lower the sense of self-worth, the lower the price of the goods or services as people will feel less confident.
• Ensuring compliance by projecting superiorty while simultaneously deflating your sense of self worth.
• Lowering self worth is often used by managers who are seeking improved performance. Ironically, if they lead by example, a new and more positive performance pressure would be created.

Carrying on between the sheets-these notions are at play in your personal relationships too.

Self worth is a big factor in determining whether the level of control in your relationships. Your confidence level is everything, plays a role in surrendering, seizing and balancing control. It effects how you judge yourself, what makes you insecure and jealous, etc.  

• If your partner feels that they are less attractive or more invested in the relationship, guess who holds the greater power?
• Guys know (and love…then loathe) this one- There is often a correlation between the self-worth and sexual performance. Someone with a lowered sense of self worth is more eager to please and more likely to be up for anything. I’ll let your imagination take you on that little journey. It’s great for a night but dealing with a damaged, depressed partner who is addicted to a cycle of self-deprecation is never a fun trip.

Common Misconceptions

Here are but a few misconceptions around self-worth that we operate on a daily basis:

• A Positive Sense of Self Worth is abi-something…abnormal. People are afraid and intimidated by those that are different, or who display genuine confidence and self worth. Society has such a toxic misunderstanding of confidence and self-worth, that it seeks to stamp out even the slightest sprout.

• A lower sense of self-worth is acceptable, respectful, and humble.  The problem with this notion is often that those doing the judging would prefer you to be so humble that you live under the floorboards. Many parents over-emphasize discouraging their children.

• Mistaking confidence for arrogance. The climate for confidence is so bad in this country that people seek to prevent any sign or inkling of self confidence. They do so in the name of preventing arrogance. Let’s clear this conundrum up right now. Confident people focus on being and doing while arrogant people emphasize pride in their achievements.

Friendly Reminders

• The world wants to bring you down right? GIVE THEM THE FINGER. Even at your best, if the world has it’s way, they’d give you 50 cents to the dollar. Remember: It’s got nothing to do with accurate assessment of your worth. There are many reasons why the world wants to get you down, and accurate and objective assessment is not on the list.
• Respect yourself enough to be picky about community. Strengthen and cultivate relationships with friends and loved ones who encourage, inspire, nurture and support the best in you.
• Consider eliminating the Debby Downers from your life. These are the self-loathing, depressed friends who narrate life as if each day were a Seinfeld episode.  At some point, you have to stand up for yourself and have the strength to move forward with or without them.
• Stop narrating your life in a negative way as if each  and everyday were a Seinfeld episode. It will eventually drive away all of those friends and loved ones who you really want around in life.

How To Fix it – 7 Ways to Super Charge Your Self Worth

1. START. Simply Sending yourself down a path of self-improvement is a helpful by itself. Decide to start. Whether it’s a diet, an exercise routine, a book, a conference, etc., just by seeking a path, you’ll see things improve. Problems arise when we procrastinate and excuse or allow ourselves to stray.
2. Clean up your psychological surroundings. Think of the things and content that feed the negative thoughts and consider reducing or eliminating them.
3. Put fun and relaxation on your schedule. Treat them as you would your most important business meeting. Block out the time and don’t let life interfere. Understand the effects these activities have. They re-invigorate you. They bring you more energy and excitement. They bring you back to life.
4. Monitor your internal chatter. Note when and where your thoughts begin to send you to a place of distress.
5. Confront your negative self talk with realistic and positive opportunities to act. Consciously make course corrections away from the thoughts that bring procrastination, distress, and anxiety.
6. Have courage and invest in self-respect. Having self- respect sometimes requires you to take a stand and say  No. No thanks. None for me. I Won’t do that.
7. Remind yourself of your goals when you have to interrupt temptations and old patterns e.g. ” No. I won’t have another piece of cake. I care about my figure and health and am working hard to improve it.”

I was not a scout growing up and am making up for it now. I have a tendency to learn how to do things and then forget them if I don’t use them. I am also a visual learner and will get lost in diagrams if given enough time to wander. Thank the maker for the invention of youtube. I was able to watch some videos and practice with some paracord. Now I am prepped and ready to lay siege to castles, set trip wires, and tie innocent peasants civilians to trees. Or help get a truck out of the mud, lash down gear, and other activities that require less testosterone.

Knots are important. Whether you’re using them to tie up your little sisters, rig a fishing line or tie down a load in the truck, knots. It’s true that duck tape can get you far but it can’t do everything (or can it?).  One thing is certain, knowing how to tie some knots can can save your life or help you have a more enjoyable outing. In this post you’ll find plenty fof video tutorials for essential knots. So grab some cord and practice

2 Nerdy Facts About Knots

Did you know that there is an International Guild of Knot Tyers?  It is a very nerdy collective, but their site is full of useful information. I see that title and expect to find a criminal underground of super-villains and henchmen but maybe that’s just me.

There are knots in mathematics too, but they are a little different. A mathematical knot is an embedding of a circle in 3 dimensional space, so  mathematical knots are closed—there are no ends to tie or untie this kind of knot.

7 Knots Every Scout Should Know

Trucker’s Hitch Knot

Clove Hitch

Bowline Knot

Chain Knot

Common Fishing Snell Knot

More Awesome Knot Resources.

http://www.asiteaboutnothing.net/cr_most-useful-knots.html#lashing

http://www.layhands.com/Knots/Index.htm