If you remember nothing else or try nothing else, do yourself a favor and remember this:

1. Golden Rule for Personal Growth – Seek  to take in and express that which truly serves you and leave and avoid that which does not.

• Like a breath, take in that which serves, expel that which does not.

Negative thoughts and experiences are unavoidable, but through conscious effort you can decrease their effect and the amount of time it takes to push them out of your life.

• Consume that which serves you and pass by that which does not.

We have control over many aspects of our environment, what we eat, what we see, what we hear, etc. Of  the elements in your control, which are really doing you good long term? Which are helping you pursue your aspirations? Which feel good in the moment but are getting in the way? Call attention  to these elements.

• Do that which truly serves you and prevent yourself from doing that which does not.

Our actions our under our control. Our bodies develop physical habits and behaviors that correspond to our thoughts. Check your posture right now. Slouching? Call attention to it. Bad habits like excessive drinking smoking, over eating, etc. are connected to our thoughts- they are after all behaviors. Healthy physical actions can inspire healthy mental actions and vice versa. Whether you’re looking for a change or stress reduction, or a big slice of Zen, don’t ignore the physical body. Use it to be constructive and allow your physical efforts and aspirations to connect, inspire and synergize with your mental aspirations.

This is my little mantra. It requires discipline and constant effort but it’s worth it and has served me well. Adopt and adapt it to your life and may it serve you well.

2. Actively filter content. I seek  to consume that which truly serves me and avoid the trash that does not. This is a golden rule for me. When it comes to content, I only want to focus on, consume and interact with content that:

• helps me pursue my goals (in business and in life)
• inspires me (When I walk out of the movie theater,  away from the screen, article or book, I want to feel like doing something, building something, etc.)
• makes me feel truly happy in a more lasting way (think happy thoughts and memories worth savoring)
• challenges me (sometimes enrages, stresses me, but only in amounts I can handle)
• helps me relax

If you want to clean up your life and develop healthy thought patterns, start by cleaning up your psychological surroundings, that is, the environments that contribute to your mental state.  A good place to start is the big unchecked, elephant in the room  guilty pleasure: content. In the information age, there is no shortage of content to consume, and for better or for worse, most of it is trash. Following the golden rule makes it incredibly easy to cut down on consuming garbage TV, movies video games, gossip mags (and masculine equivalents) business magazines, etc. In the end, a majority of the content floating around out there does not help cultivate a happier, healthier mindset or inspire you. The little good it offers is disproportionate to the psychological detriment it causes.

Filtering out the noise and trash, frees up more time to allow me to do other things. Ask yourself this, on your tombstone which would you prefer to be written:

“Here lies Joe, he liked to watch other people do stuff.” OR “Here lies Joe. He did stuff and always had time for us.”

The choice is obvious. Simply by choosing to eliminate crap frees your mind and your time.

Examples of bad consumption habits:

• Over-Consuming TV/Video Games and The Web- You know it. I know it and for most of us, it’s difficult to stop. Start by calling attention to
• Watching TV/Video Games to fill time between work and sleep = the likely consumption 90% trash.
• Trash Content
• Gossip magazines, reality TV shows about suburban queens and celebrities, make you feel guilty, ugly, etc. don’t really add value to your life. Reality check: What most often derails you from your diets or other personal goals? Someone forcing you to eat cake for 3 meals a day, or, you hijacking your thoughts to create escape and avoidance route? Guilt, fear, anxiety and self-worth are all at play there, and

Consuming trash content is a major threat to health and wellness. It feeds negative thinking, devalued self worth, depression, and victimization that all get in the way of you going down a better path. What do I mean by trash? Crap content, or trash, is anything that has an overall more negative effect on your life and more specifically your thoughts. Content that discourages positive self image, deters you from a path of self-improvement and wellness. Trash content is all the noise- the glitz, glamor and graphics, all action, brutality and explosions and no substance. Bad writing is often at the root of it, encouraged by the overwhelming apathy when it comes to judging content to consume, (but that’s for a different post).

You will never be in short supply of funny videos to watch on the web, but you will always be in short supply of time to spend with friends and loved ones.

3. Have the Courage to Say No. Having self- respect sometimes requires you to take a stand and say  No. No thanks. None for me. I Won’t do that. Most people are lost like rats in a maze and will try to keep you lost in their and your habits and patterns. By most people, I also mean friends and loved ones that you and I care about. Help yourself and them by leading by example and saying no when offered things that do not serve you.

I say NO to slasher flicks. Friends still drag me to these things. After each and every single film without fail, both my friends and I come out regretting it. Have you ever seen anyone come out of a theater after seeing a horror film and jump up in the air with raised hands saying “I’m so glad I watched SAW 10. My Life Is Awesome.” ? NOPE. Yet, moments like these still happen every now and again.

We all have friends who push things on us both good and bad. It’s funny that often times, we have no problem pushing away or turning down things that are good for us, or that we ought to do, but we struggle to say no to the bad things.

Tip: How to Deal with Social Pressures and Pushy Friends

Explain what you value and how that value or principle contributes to your decision. So your new No message might be something like this:

NO Thanks- I won’t have a third slice of cake. I care about my figure and health and I’m working hard to make it better. A third piece of cake would  work against my effort and really wouldn’t serve me.

Be resolute. Repeat your reasoning in your mind. It’s just as important that you hear it as well.

4. Read. I know. Books right? The boring motionless medium that relays information-they still make em, and they’re incredibly useful. Change requires discipline; a focused and attentive mind. Books offer you that opportunity. They provide an intimate environment for you and the subject matter of your choice with a minimal amount of distractions. There’s no sidebar, there are no ads, and unless you read them on an e-reader, there’s no real option to change the channel and get distracted. Try reading a few-start to finish.

Don’t grab just any book. Do your homework- find something that will serve you long term. After all, you’re taking time to read this thing right? It might as well be something that helps you in life.

I’ll be the first to admit, when I was younger, I hated reading. I come from the video and video game generation and reading seemed like a very limited or low bandwidth information transfer protocol to me. However, I pushed my way through some self-help/personal development books, and found out just how fruitful the experience can be. Books changed my attitude, transformed my mind, and helped me change my behavior and thus have a major effect on my life. Well worth it.

5. Study/Cultivate. Don’t just read a book. Get the most out of it. Engage your imagination and get your whole brain involved. Study it. Apply its practices. Experiment. Start a discussion. Ask questions. Explore. Have fun with it. Most people read books just to say that they have read them, yet they don’t retain much of their information or wisdom. This is especially true of personal development books.

I read it and it didn’t work.

I hate hearing this statement. A book is not like a remote control for your television. Of course it didn’t work you only looked at it. You only read it. The book doesn’t work- you do the work.

The book doesn’t work.

This is very true especially when all you did was read it. If you applied nothing, you gained nothing. If you put nothing into practice, if you did not think critically and did not engage in discussions about the content, then of course it doesn’t work.  Time is precious, and in order to get the biggest bang for your buck, take on an attitude of cultivation and engagement with anything you wish to take seriously.

6. Relax. This can be more difficult than it may seem. Relaxing requires you to let go of the worries and task items in your life. Relaxing requires avoiding the web and email and walking away from the 24 hour negative new cycle. The best ways to relax involve getting out of your environment if you can, disconnecting from the consumption stream, and slowing your world down to the point where you can examine your thoughts as they come. Like a leaking faucet, you should be able to examine your thoughts at depth one drip at a time. You don’t have to do this to relax but if you’re in an environment that enables you to do so, you’re likely in a place where it’s easy to let go of time and enjoy the moment. This is a very different pace than the pace of work and much of our lives.

I struggle with relaxation. I’m a workaholic and a playaholic, and despite the need, I often avoid moments of complete relaxation. To cope and get to the point where I can easily relax, I do things like yoga, or go on long runs and bike rides. Sometimes I bring relaxing music, other times, I just enjoy the natural sounds or silence.  When I finish, my mind is calm and I’m ready to relax. It’s both funny and sad that nobody instructs you to prepare to relax, although you really ought to. Preparing for work is a part of education, yet relaxation is an important part of a healthy long term career and life and its left out of the equation and rarely taught.

7. Play. There is no age limit for play. Playing is important for everyone one. It reduces stress and relieves anxiety. There have been plenty of studies done on the importance of play as an adult as well as a child. Play should be light-hearted and fun. It should not be distressful. Play is different than work; even if you love what you do, you need to find time to play. Do something else. Be silly. Enjoy.

8. Pray/Meditate. Remind yourself of what you are trying to improve, call attention to it, daily, as often as you can. This practice brings determination, focus and attention to your goals and behaviors. The more you do it, the more attentive you’ll be.

9. Write. Of all the habits I have, few serve me as well as the habit of writing. Many people hate it and the reason I most often hear has to do with the technical demands- grammar and composition. However, to them I say, journals have been around forever, and they require no audience nor rules. You can write in a journal from the privacy of your own home, endeavoring in self exploration without fear of any judgement at all. Want a little interaction? Welcome to the age of the blog, where, in most cases, you’re not held to some high standard beyond relaying ideas and having conversations. Everyone should write.

Please Read 16 Quotes That Will Keep You Writing

10. Do. Discover the power and language of conviction. Just as you start by starting, you do by doing. The notion of “try” has become a verbal fabric softener. It works as a band-aid to help us cope or soften the blow of failure or the fear of new endeavors. Try is a word that implies a plan or easy exit strategy for failure. I will try to be honest. I will try to eat only 2 pieces of cake. Attempt is a similar word.  It’s okay to “try” new things, because the word helps us take that first step into the great unknown; but when it comes to goals, you are far more likely to succeed if you can visualize yourself actually accomplishing/achieving/doing the deed. Bottom line: Affirmations work better than “attempts” or “tries”  from the onset. Upon reflection, it’s okay to have tried and failed, or attempted, but visualize victory and doing something and you’re more likely to succeed.

I used to keep blank paper tacked to my wall to note and call attention to great quotes, here are some of my favorites on the subject of writing.

You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.  ~Ray Bradbury

And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise.  The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.  ~Sylvia Plath

The act of putting pen to paper encourages pause for thought, this in turn makes us think more deeply about life, which helps us regain our equilibrium.  ~Norbet Platt

The time to begin writing an article is when you have finished it to your satisfaction.  By that time you begin to clearly and logically perceive what it is you really want to say.  ~Mark Twain

No one means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous.  ~Henry Brooks Adams, The Education of Henry Adams, 1907

Writing is easy:  All you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead.  ~Gene Fowler

Write down the thoughts of the moment.  Those that come unsought for are commonly the most valuable.  ~Francis Bacon

If I don’t write to empty my mind, I go mad.  ~Lord Byron

What no wife of a writer can ever understand is that a writer is working when he’s staring out of the window.  ~Burton Rascoe

The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.  ~Henry David Thoreau, Journal, 19 August 1851

Writing is both mask and unveiling.  ~E.B. White

Keep a diary and one day it’ll keep you.  ~Mae West

There are thousands of thoughts lying within a man that he does not know till he takes up the pen and writes.  ~William Makepeace Thackeray

The most essential gift for a good writer is a built-in, shockproof shit detector.  This is the writer’s radar and all great writers have had it.  ~Ernest Hemingway, interview in Paris Review, Spring 1958

We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master. ~Ernest Hemingway

It is an often said but poorly understood notion, that many if not most people in your life will try to discourage, devalue and chip away at your self-worth. Due to toxic patterns, poor upbringings, selfish behavior, and other environmental and psychological factors, the masses try to bring you down. While exploring this subject, I took a deeper look at these things, and decided to share my thoughts as to why people do this, what you can do stop them and yourself from , and how to cultivate and nourish your own sense of self-worth.

What does a healthy sense of self worth get you? A solid sense of self worth can go a long way to helping you earn more money at work, improve personal relationships, and reinforce your ability to  have enough self respect to say “No, I don’t have to”.

A  healthy sense of self worth also helps to:

1. Identify abuse and toxic patterns in your mind and in your relationships with others.
2. Demand more for your time. This may mean more money, more focused attention, more balanced role in a relationship, or just more.
3. Empower you with the ability to respectfully decline to do things that you don’t want to do; the power to confidently opt out.

Why People Bring You Down

One way or another it comes down to the ego. Control, fear, insecurity and  desire for dominance and schadenfreude  drive us to put others down,  be it internally in our heads or externally.  No gender is immune to the practice or effects of this behavior. Men crush other men, rub in victories and defeats, women trash talk, judge themselves and compare to themselves to others.  It seems like it’s the way of the world and it’s encouraged in our culture commercially throughout almost every medium and method of information consumption, making it more difficult than ever to ignore. You would think that because the world is telling everyone that they are worthless, that we could at least be our own advocates, but by in large, our thoughts tend to conform and betray their masters. Don’t give up- there is hope.

What is the cure?

An attitude of constant cultivation and nourishment of our own sense of self-worth and confidence actually allows us to feel more comfortable around others, more likely to encourage, relate, empathize and  focus on the task at hand.

How do I get it?

Become aware of your self-talk and what you’re doing internally to bring yourself down. Identify those moments and switch tracks by reminding yourself that you are in control of your thoughts, feelings and actions, and ultimately, it is your choice. Nurture your new found sense of self by paying homage to the body-mind connection. Think about hitting the gym, yoga, self improvement books,  find your zen, and take fun and play seriously.  Treat the stress reducing, nurturing

Why The Man is Always Trying to Bring You Down

Why they don’t really want you whistling while you work-it’s good for business.

In the business world, the preferred level of self-worth is lower than it ought to be. It is mandated and enforced by egotistical micro-managers and in every exchange. If you can lower your competitor, opponents, customers, and employees’ sense of self worth, you, (the superior one) can assert control and assure compliance.

• Lowering the self worth of others saves money. The lower the sense of self-worth, the lower the price of the goods or services as people will feel less confident.
• Ensuring compliance by projecting superiorty while simultaneously deflating your sense of self worth.
• Lowering self worth is often used by managers who are seeking improved performance. Ironically, if they lead by example, a new and more positive performance pressure would be created.

Carrying on between the sheets-these notions are at play in your personal relationships too.

Self worth is a big factor in determining whether the level of control in your relationships. Your confidence level is everything, plays a role in surrendering, seizing and balancing control. It effects how you judge yourself, what makes you insecure and jealous, etc.  

• If your partner feels that they are less attractive or more invested in the relationship, guess who holds the greater power?
• Guys know (and love…then loathe) this one- There is often a correlation between the self-worth and sexual performance. Someone with a lowered sense of self worth is more eager to please and more likely to be up for anything. I’ll let your imagination take you on that little journey. It’s great for a night but dealing with a damaged, depressed partner who is addicted to a cycle of self-deprecation is never a fun trip.

Common Misconceptions

Here are but a few misconceptions around self-worth that we operate on a daily basis:

• A Positive Sense of Self Worth is abi-something…abnormal. People are afraid and intimidated by those that are different, or who display genuine confidence and self worth. Society has such a toxic misunderstanding of confidence and self-worth, that it seeks to stamp out even the slightest sprout.

• A lower sense of self-worth is acceptable, respectful, and humble.  The problem with this notion is often that those doing the judging would prefer you to be so humble that you live under the floorboards. Many parents over-emphasize discouraging their children.

• Mistaking confidence for arrogance. The climate for confidence is so bad in this country that people seek to prevent any sign or inkling of self confidence. They do so in the name of preventing arrogance. Let’s clear this conundrum up right now. Confident people focus on being and doing while arrogant people emphasize pride in their achievements.

Friendly Reminders

• The world wants to bring you down right? GIVE THEM THE FINGER. Even at your best, if the world has it’s way, they’d give you 50 cents to the dollar. Remember: It’s got nothing to do with accurate assessment of your worth. There are many reasons why the world wants to get you down, and accurate and objective assessment is not on the list.
• Respect yourself enough to be picky about community. Strengthen and cultivate relationships with friends and loved ones who encourage, inspire, nurture and support the best in you.
• Consider eliminating the Debby Downers from your life. These are the self-loathing, depressed friends who narrate life as if each day were a Seinfeld episode.  At some point, you have to stand up for yourself and have the strength to move forward with or without them.
• Stop narrating your life in a negative way as if each  and everyday were a Seinfeld episode. It will eventually drive away all of those friends and loved ones who you really want around in life.

How To Fix it – 7 Ways to Super Charge Your Self Worth

1. START. Simply Sending yourself down a path of self-improvement is a helpful by itself. Decide to start. Whether it’s a diet, an exercise routine, a book, a conference, etc., just by seeking a path, you’ll see things improve. Problems arise when we procrastinate and excuse or allow ourselves to stray.
2. Clean up your psychological surroundings. Think of the things and content that feed the negative thoughts and consider reducing or eliminating them.
3. Put fun and relaxation on your schedule. Treat them as you would your most important business meeting. Block out the time and don’t let life interfere. Understand the effects these activities have. They re-invigorate you. They bring you more energy and excitement. They bring you back to life.
4. Monitor your internal chatter. Note when and where your thoughts begin to send you to a place of distress.
5. Confront your negative self talk with realistic and positive opportunities to act. Consciously make course corrections away from the thoughts that bring procrastination, distress, and anxiety.
6. Have courage and invest in self-respect. Having self- respect sometimes requires you to take a stand and say  No. No thanks. None for me. I Won’t do that.
7. Remind yourself of your goals when you have to interrupt temptations and old patterns e.g. ” No. I won’t have another piece of cake. I care about my figure and health and am working hard to improve it.”

Today was my first day back in the pool in over a month. I raced a tall bean sprout of a man and managed to keep within quarter of a lap of him.  In my sights the whole way,  I  slowly closed the distance to within a body length. I kept a steady pace and wasn’t redlining it or gasping for breath. On the last lap, I sped up my transition and cranked on the nitrous. I could feel my jets going behind me; a flailing storm of imperfect fluttering, the disproportionate dead weight of slender legs kicking and suddenly having a noticeable effect and actually helping my upper body. With a bubble riddled wake thrown behind me,  I dusted him by more than 20 feet, ate him for lunch.

If I were to pull ahead sooner, he’d have fought me for every inch and I’d have to choke down water to keep up. I could have swam hard all the way through and doubt I would be able to beat the guy. Many competitors focus too much on simply beating others and are rarely racing against themselves. That is to say, by acknowledging their weaknesses or being attentive and self aware.

As I start up my routine again, I’m of course slower than I’ve been all summer, but I planned to win by just enough and was able to do so. My transitions were slow throughout the entire race, I knew they were holding me back, but I was still able to keep within a certain distance without addressing it. At that point,  I knew I could beat him with a few simple corrections.

Win smart- not hard.

Plan, execute with practiced form and follow through with tenacity and endurance. If the plan goes to shit, and your form is utter crap (like mine), well, you can at least ride on tenacity and endurance. They’ll get you there often enough.

Before the web and Twitter, there were Post-Its. The portable and versatile messaging system of yesteryear. Post-its are the original micro-blogging platform. Everyone loves a classic, and I think these guys qualify. I still use them to decorate my monitor, make lists, (flip-books anyone?), take notes, motivate myself,… and just scribble on. They have yet to be replaced by some fancy tech tool and I love them for what they are; the vibrant colored decks paper of little, seemingly insignificant size that allows you to express yourself freely without the pressure of the dimensions of a full document, and if need be, you can crumple them up and discard them guilt free. I ♥ Post-Its.

Death is a forbidden subject at most tables. Most people ignore and neglect even thinking of death and then when it comes for them or the people they love, they lose it. In fact, it is to the point where crazy reactions and psychological meltdowns are expected, encouraged and permitted. Death is one of the few certainties of life and that little piece of knowledge can be put to good use in terms of deciding the type of life we choose to lead in the present.

Many of us see no importance in thinking about death until it hits home, and when death comes, many people fail to even make a deep personal connection with their own culture’s traditions toward mourning and death. We process the loss and the guilt but too often, we don’t apply the experience to our lives. Many of us avoid thinking of death is out of superstition that we will somehow hasten our demise by merely thinking about it, and in the past, I have been guilty of this, but death is something for which everyone can prepare and we should all think about. It is when we think about death that we can develop a great appreciation and calling to enjoy and maximize our quality of life.  If you’ve survived a car crash, or simply heard the sound of screeching tires, I bet it got your blood pumping and at least for a moment, you thought about death and your life and new in an instant that there was much you wished to do and experience. You need not wait until those moments come to ponder the quality of your life.

Approaching life with the illusion of permanence is counterproductive to seeking a good quality of life. The notion that we will be here for a long time leads to superficial activities and procrastination that undermine ourselves and others. Creating the illusion that life is long makes it easier to put off the meaningful pursuits.

Here are some  helpful thoughts and things to say to yourself, that will help you maintain an awareness of death and use it to your advantage.

Because death can’t be avoided, my life only grows shorter and I’ve got such limited time; I must take advantage and do great things.

Because, my lifespan is indefinite, there are many causes of death and very, very few causes of life, and the time of death is unknowable due to the fragility of the body; I must do great things NOW!

Because at the time of death, my friends, my wealth and my body will be of no help to me, I must be spiritually and mentally prepared, satisfied with my efforts and contributions and avoid bitterness and anger.

Everyone should try to explore the opportunities to understand life, including death. A developed understanding of death makes for better coping mechanisms. Confront and prepare for an inevitable journey. I was recently reminded of our bodily rental agreement with the great creator,  helping my girlfriend when she discovered the boy of one of the family dogs in her parents backyard, and had this to say about it.

I found it different, to find him there, different from the news finding my ear. It was close. It was recent. The dog was not a dog; there was something empty about him; a husk of a husky.  Only a ringing left where a vibrant frequency was once heard, like losing perception, I could no longer pick up his transmission. It was not as if he had left but it felt as if I had gone partially deaf and could no longer hear him. I didn’t worry for his journey, my thoughts of worry were focused on those who would miss him. They to had to go on a journey, unpacked, unprepared, and often so it is, such a devastating trip to grieve.

As we wrapped him in shrouds and carried him away, it was strange to look at a rigored body, like seeing a frozen ocean; so use to the ebb and flow, the rolling waves of breath, the mind becomes dizzy and plays tricks as you look on with a thousand yard stare, looking for signs.

As vessels harden, it becomes easier to think of them as discarded husks; some invisible seed or blossom floated away leaving dry leaves and decay. I was well prepped to handle this tragedy and felt shame for feeling such curiosity. Pen in hand, mind in motion, I can meander in these situations. I worried for the family who are left to suffer and struggle, finding it so hard to process.  I had no words for them, I could think of none that would bring comfort. Tis a reminder, there will be more times when I am surprised; when someone escapes me and takes all comforts with them, and one day still when I too will be greedy, and take all words, leaving only grief for loved ones.

We loaded the dog in the truck and took him to the vet hospital to be cremated. It was a different experience than a funeral. Participating in the technicalities made it all the more strange…and interesting. After we arrived at the pet hospital, we transferred the remains onto a flatbed and it held its form like a plastic mold, as seemingly unnatural as a flamingo lawn ornament. The three of us wandered the halls down to the pathology department where the necropsy was to take place. I kept a blank look, fearful that to keep my normal SNAFU look would be an insult of some kind. I was also afraid to invoke emotion by expressing it. I didn’t want to expose my childish curiosity by asking too many questions either.

My girlfriend escorted me to a room where I was to wait until after she had collected a paw print from the dog.  I scribbled some thoughts down on paper. Secretly, I felt lucky; not sad, lucky to be detached enough to simply observe and think not of grief, not of death, but of life. I thought of life in this time of death. For some reason I felt comfort. There is something of a home and a family in times of grief. There is something in the fray, the surprise and emergency that comforts. I suppose it is the certainty of purpose, a call to service; one of the few moments for true virtues, friendship and compassion to shine. I wasn’t brought up with  table manners or a sensitivity to politically correct speech or the like.

Much can be learned from an awareness of  death. The delicate nature and indeterminate shelf life of our own fleshy cartons and blurry expiration dates remind us to that we are best enjoyed by the present, the now, the next 10 minutes.

I was not a scout growing up and am making up for it now. I have a tendency to learn how to do things and then forget them if I don’t use them. I am also a visual learner and will get lost in diagrams if given enough time to wander. Thank the maker for the invention of youtube. I was able to watch some videos and practice with some paracord. Now I am prepped and ready to lay siege to castles, set trip wires, and tie innocent peasants civilians to trees. Or help get a truck out of the mud, lash down gear, and other activities that require less testosterone.

Knots are important. Whether you’re using them to tie up your little sisters, rig a fishing line or tie down a load in the truck, knots. It’s true that duck tape can get you far but it can’t do everything (or can it?).  One thing is certain, knowing how to tie some knots can can save your life or help you have a more enjoyable outing. In this post you’ll find plenty fof video tutorials for essential knots. So grab some cord and practice

2 Nerdy Facts About Knots

Did you know that there is an International Guild of Knot Tyers?  It is a very nerdy collective, but their site is full of useful information. I see that title and expect to find a criminal underground of super-villains and henchmen but maybe that’s just me.

There are knots in mathematics too, but they are a little different. A mathematical knot is an embedding of a circle in 3 dimensional space, so  mathematical knots are closed—there are no ends to tie or untie this kind of knot.

7 Knots Every Scout Should Know

Trucker’s Hitch Knot

Clove Hitch

Bowline Knot

Chain Knot

Common Fishing Snell Knot

More Awesome Knot Resources.

http://www.asiteaboutnothing.net/cr_most-useful-knots.html#lashing

http://www.layhands.com/Knots/Index.htm

A friend sent this to me, and after the weeks of coverage, in case you missed any news recently, here’s what you need to know.

I am re-reading Becoming Enlightened by His Holiness the Dalai Lama and want to take time to reflect on each lesson in the book.  I love Buddhist literature because of its logic and simple truths are undeniable and inescapable compared to other moral or religious doctrines. I find purpose, meaning and that personal motivation to work hard each day to take advantage this gift of mind and body. Here are my notes and reflections on a lesson focused on the rarity and value of a human life and going about virtuous deeds.

Human life is precious. If you are a Buddhist, you believe it took a hell of an effort and many lives as lesser beings to be given this opportunity and it will take many virtuous acts to have the opportunity to be a human in your next life. If you are of a Western religion, this life is it. No matter your view, the opportunities provided with this life are the most important things you will ever have. I am lucky to have the freedom to pursue academic and spiritual wisdom every single day. To take full advantage of this life I should spend each day learning what I can to rid myself of destructive emotions, so that I can become more selfless and apt to help others.

Lately, I feel I’ve been distracted from spiritual practice and rationalizing it by focusing on regaining stability in my life and relationships. Yet ironically, mental clarity is needed to meet these challenges. The ability to stay virtuous and compassionate in hard times is vital to overcoming obstacles and alleviating suffering. My spiritual practices and beliefs are very different from most people and I want this body and mind to best use. I best serve myself and others by keeping the mind and body sharp; taking time out of everyday to read, meditate, act, challenge and engage myself in practice. I am tormented by my own analytical abilities and what some grasp in a bumper sticker, I will take days to comprehensively wrap my head around reflecting upon reading through writing, meditation and exploration.

I’ve read that there are four ways to mitigate a non-virtuous action; admitting it, regretting it, committing not to do it again and engaging in virtuous acts such as helping others. Unlike  my experience with the notion of repentance, there is less focus or dwelling on guilt and more on acknowledgment of regret and progressive steps to do better and serve others.

There is a subtle but important difference between guilt and regret. Too often do we claim words as perfect synonyms.  The notion of guilt takes a communal, punitive,  external approach to experiencing shame. Guilt is most often expressed when staring down  a gun barrel or guillotine. Regret is  a personal, internal experience  of accounting for one’s actions. Which is more effective? A  man who expresses shame or regret needs no gun, or external prompt to atone for his actions and does so by choice. A guilty man, when rid of the barrel, has yet to atone and has every reason to avoid doing so as it is tied to punishment.  Regret and shame alone are not as condemning as guilt, and leave opportunity for progress. So, a religious institution that relies on teaching that all are guilty (and to seek repentance in  fear of punishment)  might not be as effective as an instituition that instructs to feel shame and/or regret and to seek enlightenment. I love and recognize the power and importance of words.

I do not avoid responsibility but I do believe that focusing on guilt can more easily lead to other destructive emotions and far more suffering than the original infraction. This gives all sinners purpose and responsibility to themselves and their community. We will all make mistakes but need not dwell in guilt.

In order to perform virtuous deeds, one should prepare a good motivation in advance, with high quality execution dedicated to altruistic enlightenment and without regret. We take on many tasks and complete few, and fewer still we complete well. In order to do well, it is important to cultivate a strong motivation to wish to see something through with no other aim than enlightenment; to learn something. This echoes the chivalry of ancient knights errant, juxtapose a world that still thinks  Don Quixote a great fool.

I love my life and spending a little time each day to reflect on life’s many lessons just makes me that much more determined to get more out of  each and every day.

I’m a huge Burn Notice fan and created ebooks containing the plot summaries and voice over narration for every season. It makes for an awesome summer read. Here’s a sneak peak at Volume One of every voice over tip from the hit TV Show Burn Notice. I put this together in my spare time and triple checked every word from each episode. You can see the first few episodes for free and purchase a downloadable PDF version for $3.00. That’s  a great read for less than a fancy cup of coffee or even a used book.You can share it with your friends and family without restriction. I will be adding every season including the fourth season soon.

*Alternatively, You can always click on the donate button on the right and donate any amount you prefer and write me an email and I’ll send it to you.

What’s different about my ebook? There are many, great fan websites and pages dedicated to Burn Notice, but all of them, including Wikipedia are unorganized, full of errors and misquotes. This ebook includes the plot summaries for each episode followed by the voice over narration, which are all the useful tidbits from the show and all of it is accurate.

1.1 Pilot

Plot Summary

While on assignment in Nigeria, covert operative Michael Westen learns that he’s been “burned.” For a spy, it is the equivalent of being fired. A burned spy is blacklisted from all government agencies and resources; his bank accounts are frozen and his credit is trashed. Michael barely escapes Nigeria and wakes up, battered, in a Miami motel. In order to survive and fund his own personal investigation, Michael enlists the help of the only two “friends” he has: Fiona Glenanne, an ex-IRA operative who also happens to be an ex-girlfriend, and Sam Axe, a washed-out military intelligence contact who has been under FBI surveillance. He is also forced to deal with the family he went halfway around the world to get away from—particularly his mother, Madeline Westen, who could not be happier to have her son back in town.

Through former spy-turned-security consultant Lucy Chen–whom Michael helped learn the trade–he gets a lead on a small investigation job: a caretaker of an estate, Javier, has been accused of stealing valuable art from his employer, Graham Pyne. All evidence points to it being an inside job and Javier, with very little money to offer, has nowhere else to turn. When Michael begins to dig around, he quickly discovers that it was in fact an inside job: Pyne orchestrated the robbery and framed Javier in order to collect insurance.

Michael confronts Pyne with the incriminating evidence. When Pyne and his bodyguard come after Javier and his son, Michael is already a step ahead of them and has set up a trap at Javier’s house. After the smoke clears, Pyne has accidentally shot his bodyguard, and Michael has enough evidence to send both of them to jail for conspiracy to commit kidnapping. With the mounting evidence hanging over his head, Pyne agrees to clear Javier’s name and provide financial support to Javier and his son.

Meanwhile, Michael keeps trying to get in touch with his old government handler, Dan Siebels, who will not accept his calls. Deciding to get creative, Michael resorts to mailing Siebels a fake bomb in order to get his attention. The ploy works, and Michael finally gets to confront Siebels about the burn notice. Siebels believes Michael has probably been framed and there is nothing he can do to help him, but that he still has allies within the Agency. He tells Michael not to leave Miami, unless he wants an FBI manhunt after him. To top it all off, Michael returns home to find his door open and the floor covered with surveillance photos. It is not the FBI, but whoever it is, they have been tracking his every move. And they have left a message: “Welcome to Miami.”

Narration

Covert intelligence involves a lot of waiting around. Know what it’s like being a spy? Like sitting in your dentist’s reception area twenty-four hours a day. You read magazines, sip coffee, and every so often, someone tries to kill you.

[Michael Weston is Crammed in the back seat of a Mercedes sedan, pinned between two armed thugs and sarcastically making them aware that Mercedes also makes an SUV. The thugs think he is a CIA operative.] What do you say to that? No? Explain A lot of spies do not work directly for the CIA? A lot of good that will do.

[While getting the crap kicked out of him, caught off guard by a group thugs]Sometimes the truth hurts. In these situations, I recommend lying.

In a fight, you have to be careful not to break the little bones in your hands on someone’s face. That’s why I like bathrooms: lots of hard surfaces.

Southern Nigeria isn’t my favorite place in the world. It’s unstable. It’s corrupt and the people there eat a lot of terrible smelling preserved fish.

I will say this for Nigeria though: it’s the gun running capital of Africa, and that makes it a bad place to drive a passenger sedan into a crowded market.

If you’re going to collapse on a plane, I recommend business class. The seats are bigger if you start convulsing. Although once you pass out, it really doesn’t matter.

Most people would be thrilled to be dumped in Miami. Sadly, I am not most people. Spend a few years as a covert operative and a sunny beach just looks like a vulnerable tactical position with no cover.

I’ve never found a good way to hide a gun in a bathing suit.

When a spy gets fired, he doesn’t get a call from the lady in HR and a gold watch. They cut him off. They make sure he can never work again. They can’t take away his skills or what’s in his head, so they take away the resources that allow him to function. They burn him.

When you’re being watched, what you need is contrast, a background that will make the surveillance stand out. An FBI field office is full of guys in their forties. At most South Beach business hotels, it would be tuff to tell which middle aged white guy is watching you. So, stay in the place where everyone is a jell-o shot away from alcohol poisoning. If you see someone who can walk a straight line, that’s the Fed.

Need to go someplace you’re not wanted? Any uniform store will sell you a messenger outfit, and any messenger can get passed a security desk.

[While entering a luxurious mansion in Miami] With this much money things get complicated. Change a light bulb in a place like this, and a week later you’re on a speed boat to the Cayman Islands with someone shooting at you.

M y mom would have been a great NSA Communications operative. Drop me in the middle of the Gobi desert. Bury me in a God-damn cave on the moon, and somehow, she’d find a way to call me and ask me for a favor.

I don’t like stealing cars, but sometimes it’s necessary. I have rules though. I’ll keep it clean, and if I take your car on a work day, I’ll have it back by five.

Figuring out if a car is tailing you is mostly about driving like you’re an idiot. You speed up, slow down, signal one way; turn the other. Of course, ideally, you’re doing this without your mother in the car… Actually, losing a tail isn’t about driving fast. A high-speed pursuit is just going to land you on the six o’clock news. So you just keep driving like an idiot until the other guy makes a mistake. Again, all this is easier without a passenger yelling at you for missing a decade’s worth of Thanksgivings.

Sleep through an aerial bombing or two, and noise isn’t an issue. You just need some privacy and a bed. In a pinch, you can lose the bed. But the privacy’s important for projects like this one. With everyone X-raying and chemical testing their mail these days, a box of wire and pipe and batteries sprinkled with chemical fertilizer is a great attention-getter.

Whether you’re a coke dealer, a thief, an arms dealer, or a spy, you need someone to clean your money; which makes a good money launderer the closest thing you can get to a Yellow Pages for criminals. Even better, a money launderer will always take your calls burn notice or no burn notice.

Pilot Part 2

When you work as a covert operative, meeting new people becomes a real headache. Chances are anyone who wants to meet you is someone you don’t want to meet.

It doesn’t matter how much training you have; a broken rib is a broken rib.

I never run around the bushes in a ski mask when I’m breaking into a place.  If somebody catches you; what are you going to say? You want to look like a legitimate visitor until the very last minute. If you can’t look legit, confused works almost as well, maybe get a soda from the fridge or a yogurt. If you’re caught, you just act confused and apologize like crazy for taking the yogurt – nothing could be more innocent…

Cracking an old-school safe is pretty tough, but modern hi-tech security makes it much easier. Thing is, nobody wipes off a fingerprint scanner after they use it. So what’s left on the scanner, nine times out of ten, is a fingerprint.

Fighting for the little guy is for suckers. We all do it once in a while, but the trick is to get in and out quickly, without getting involved. That’s one trick I never really mastered.

Powerful people don’t like being pushed around. You can never quite predict what they’re going to do. Or have their washed-out special-forces, security guys do. Point is, blackmail does a little like own a pit bull; it might protect you, or it might bite your hand off. That’s why it pays to make sure you know what they’re thinking, and that means eavesdropping.

To build a listening device, you need a crappy phone with a mike that picks up everything. But you want the battery power and circuits of a better phone. It’s a trick you learn when the purchasing office won’t spring for a bug.

Once somebody sends a guy with a gun after you, things are only going to get worse. But like it or not, you’ve got work to do. For a job like getting rid of the drug dealer next door, I’ll take a hardware store over a gun any day. Guns make you stupid. Better to fight your wars with duct tape. Duct tape makes you smart. Every decent punk has a bulletproof door. But people forget walls are just plaster. Hopefully you get him with the first shot, Or the second. Now he’s down and waiting for you to come through the front door. So you don’t come through the front door.

People with happy families don’t become spies. A bad childhood is the perfect background for covert ops – you don’t trust anyone, you’re used to getting smacked around, and you never get homesick.

Thirty years of karate, combat experience on five continents, a rating with every weapon that shoots a bullet or holds an edge; I still haven’t found any defense against Mom crying into my shirt.

Airbags save a lot of lives, but they also put you out long enough to get your hands cable-tied to the steering wheel.

When you work solo, it’s about prepping the ground. Home-court advantage counts for a lot. You never know what’s going to happen. You prepare for everything. Most bad guys expect you to just sit there and wait for them, like those are “the rules” or something.

If you’re going to put prints on a gun, sticking it into somebody’s hand isn’t going to do it. Any decent lawyer can explain prints on a gun. But try explaining prints on the inside of the trigger assembly.

As a spy, it doesn’t matter if you’re helping rebel forces fight off a dictator or giving combat tips to a third grader, there’s nothing like helping the little guy kick some bully’s ass.

There’s nothing worse for a spook than knowing you’re being played. Someone is pulling strings. Who? Not some intelligence agency bureaucrat in a cubicle. This is someone with more style. Not FBI either, they’re not this creative and they don’t do surveillance on their own guys. This is someone who knows what he’s doing; someone who wants to send a message: Welcome to Miami.

1.2 Identity

Plot Summary

The episode opens with Michael trying to track down where the photographs that he found on his apartment floor were taken. After talking to his mother, Madeline Westen, he found out two government agents were in her home, and after checking the wiring, he finds a bug. He tracks the bug down to an abandoned house only to see two guys taking off in a car and their equipment left in flames.

Madeline refuses to tell her son anything more about the two men that came to her house until Michael agrees to help one of her friends, Laura, who got scammed and beaten by a con artist. Laura is able to provide only a weak description, but the fake certificate she has leads Michael to a copy shop, where he’s able to eventually trace it back to the master criminal.

Sam Axe finds that the con artist’s name is Quinten, and provides Michael with a brief background of Quinten’s run-ins with the law. Michael decides to use this information to attempt to trick Quinten into thinking that Westen is a fellow con artist. After their first encounter goes poorly, Michael pushes Quinten harder. Sam sets up some fake papers to make it look like Quinten’s partners are about to betray him. However, everything falls apart when a device meant to disable Quinten’s car is set incorrectly by Fiona Glenanne, and accidentally blows it up right before he steps inside.

Now that Quinten is scared, Michael is playing his cards carefully. He sends Sam & Fiona to play FBI agents and convinces Quinten’s partners to leave town. Meanwhile, Michael takes advantage of Quinten’s paranoia and convinces Quinten that he cannot go to the bank to withdraw his money because the police are watching him. Michael then cons Quinten into giving him full access to his bank accounts so he can withdraw the money in his place. Once he has the information, Michael proceeds to return all the money Quinten stole, along with providing his name to several “colorful” organizations.

After all of the money is returned, a thankful Madeline finally divulges all of the details about the two government agents. They came into the house and asked whether Michael had returned to Miami. She told them no because to her, “family comes first.” She then gives Michael a number the agents had given her to contact them. Michael calls the number and speaks with an anonymous voice, who congratulates Michael for his hard work, but does not provide any helpful information.

Narration

A surveillance photo can tell you a lot about the photographer. Surveillance takes planning. You have to scout the area. You need a place to sit and wait for the target for an hour or 10. Lots of chances to get seen.

You can’t choose your intelligence sources. (They) might be a heroin smuggler, a dictator… or your mom.

My mother’s understanding of my career changes with what she wants from me. One day, she can name everyone on the National Security Council. The next day, she thinks I work for the post office.

Not all bugs are the same. If it has got a battery; it’s disposable; short-term. If it’s wired into the house power, it’s a longer term thing. If it has a transmitter, you can figure out how close the listener is.

Once your surveillance knows you’re on to them, the clock starts ticking. They know you’re coming so the question for them is whether they can destroy their equipment and get out in time. The question for you is whether you can find them before every bit of useful information is turned into a pile of burning slag.

There’s a reason spies don’t have a lot of parties. Everybody’s got a history with everyone else.

Often, the best way to get intel is to provoke action; set people in motion. Pros know better, but they usually have to work with a few amateurs, and they panic. So you beat the bushes a little and see what flies out. Once your frightened amateur leads you to the pros, the work begins.

Con artists and spies are both professional liars. Cons do it for the money and spies do it for the flag, but it’s mostly the same gig. They run operations. They follow security procedures. They recruit support staff and issue orders.

When you go after a spy, you send another spy. The same goes for con artists. To catch one you’ve got to beat him at his own game; be a better liar than he is.

No matter how good your cover identity is, you’ve got to sell it and that’s not always easy.

Sometimes you have to decide just how committed you are to pretending you are who you say you are.

I don’t like running from cops, but it has its advantages: it builds your credibility with a criminal when you flee a crime scene.

Eavesdropping and fieldwork go hand-in-hand. You want to know what your target is saying, what he’s typing into his computer. But technology can’t work miracles: bugs don’t plant themselves. Fact is, even the fanciest equipment usually needs help from a good old-fashioned crowbar.

It’s always useful to disable a car remotely; a cell phone, some wire, you can ground the circuit on the electrical system with a phone call.

A good cover identity keeps the target feeling in control. You talk too much; drink too much just to let him know he’s got the edge.

Go after a group of people directly, and they pull together. They get stronger. Taking out a tight knit group is about making them turn on each other. You plant the seeds of distrust and watch them grow. Of course, sewing seeds of distrust is harder when nobody trusts you.

Sometimes a great plan comes together just a little bit too early.

You’ve been in the business way too long when you recognize the sound of a .45 caliber over a phone.

[Car explodes unexpectedly] That’s what happens when you wire a cell phone to a blasting cap in the gas tank instead of the electrical system.

Whether you’re in Moscow, Tehran, or Miami, club girls are a good source of information. Men say things to a beautiful woman. They give out phone numbers, hotel keys; they let down their guard. Getting information from a club girl means buying drinks. It’s no problem with an operational slush fund. It’s a big problem if you’re spending cash scrounged from your mom’s purse.

A hit-man is like a plumber, a dentist or a mechanic. Everybody is always looking for a good one.

Truth is, identity theft isn’t hard. A number and an ID is all you need to drain a bank account, and return a lot of money to some very surprised retirees. But why stop there? As long as you’re stealing someone’s identity, why not use it to contact some known terrorist organizations on unsecure phone lines; why not use it to threaten federal judges, and insult the local drug cartel? Most fun I’ve had in Miami.

1.3 Fight or Flight

Plot Summary

Michael’s landlord Oleg convinces him to earn 4 months’ rent by resolving the threats which keep his star waitress, Cara Stagner, stuck at home, scared-stiff. It turns out she was the sole witness to a drug cartel crime. Michael barricades Cara and her willful teenage daughter Sarah, in his mother’s garage, then approaches the cartel’s lawyer. All the while Michael’s ex-girlfriend, Fiona pressures him to pick up his hated father’s old Charger. Meanwhile, he leans on an Egyptian spy to help trace his burn notice.

Narration

International conferences attract spies for the same reasons hotel bars attract hookers. You can do business and drink for free.

Any high security function is going to have a lot of oversight; a lot of meetings, a lot of bureaucrats checking up on each other. In all the confusion of the big event, it’s easy for another bureaucrats to…just show up (posing as a bureaucrat). The important thing is to disappear before people can ask questions. If they do decide to ask questions, you just have to hope you’re in a building with a lot of hallways, a good service basement, and plenty of exits. But in the end, sometimes making an escape is just about being willing to do what the guy chasing you won’t; like jump off a building.

Asking my mom for anything is a lot like getting a favor from a Russian mob boss, he’ll give you what you want with a smile, but believe me, you’ll pay for it.

My father’s approach to machinery was similar to his approach to family. If you don’t like how something works, keep banging on it until it does what you want. If something doesn’t fit, force it and above all, make sure it looks good on the outside.

Convincing a bully to back down is usually just a matter of showing you’re not afraid of them. Of course, some bullies have guys with 357 magnums, then you change tactics. [Michael then changes to an accommodating tone and scrambles to escape.]

When faced with a superior force, you can do two things. You can retreat quietly or you can attack with as much fan fare as possible.

Outfitting a safe-house is about two things. You need to know if someone is coming and you need to know how the folks you’re protecting are going to get out of there if they do. And if you can’t be on babysitting duty all the time, you need to make sure that you know the minute something is wrong. A 35 dollar outdoor floodlight has a decent motion detector on it. Wire that to a cell phone and you’ve got a remote alarm system that will call you if there’s trouble.

I love commuters. Anybody who drives the same route to work every day; it’s like they’re doing the work for you. And a punctual commuter, a guy who is in the same place every morning at 8:36AM: it’s almost too easy.

Threaten any serious criminal organization and they’re going to do one of two things. They’ll send someone to make a deal or they’ll send someone to make a corpse. Either way, you’ve got something to work with.

When you go on the run, the first thing you do is lay down tracks in the opposite direction, but that only works if the bad guys find the trail and believe it’s for real; which means selling it. You need to put on a little show, make them feel clever. When you make somebody work to get a piece of information, they’ll believe it that much more because it’s hard to get.

Approaching a spy in the middle of a job, gives you a lot of leverage. They’re playing a delicate game and the last thing they want is someone coming in and smashing their delicate game with a brick.

Basic rule of body guarding: Never fight with the protectee around, mostly because if they happen to catch a stray bullet, you just lost your job.

Modern technology has made it possible to do sophisticated electronic surveillance with stuff from your local electronics store. It sounds more fun than it is.

Faking surveillance video has come a long way. It used to be that you’d spend days slaving over a VHS tape with a razor blade.

A drug cartel is a business. If killing a witness to protect a valued employee from jail time is the best way to keep making money, they’ll do that. If it looks like that employee is testifying to the FBI though, they’re just as happy to leave the witness alone and take care of the problem another way.

An alpha-numeric tracking code and a special access code name, it’s not much but it’s a start. [While reviewing a report from the Department of Home Land Security that offers a clue to Michael’s burn notice.]